When Adam Was Born - Part 5

[Updated with ultrasound image*]

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After the doctor and nurse exited, we both had just a moment to really take in what was before us, and I heard my husband literally sigh with relief.  We saw the extent of the abdominal wall defect (omphalocele) and I think we were awe struck. The baby’s arms were around the omphalocele as a toddler might hold a beach ball in front of him as he waddles about.  There were no tears when Adam was born – just relief, and oddly, joy.  Perhaps it was just shock, but we were blessed to not be feeling the grief of the loss at that moment. 

I got up and got out our digital camera.  We knew the hospital would take photos of the baby after he was cleaned dressed and had a hat on.  But we wanted an unvarnished image of the situation, and we knew we couldn’t count on the pictures in our mind’s eye to (accurately) last long-term.  We took a picture or two of the baby lying on the bed as well as one of him next to my outstretched hand so we’d have a reference for size.  The pictures we took are graphic - maybe even gruesome - but they’ve served as a good reality reminder for us.

Not long after we’d snapped the photos the door opened and, beneath the curtain that was pulled over the entrance, we saw a pair of black shoes moving about.  The curtain was being ‘rustled’ about 4 feet above where the shoes were stumbling around, so it was clear to us that the visitor was baffled by the impediment to entry presented by said curtain.  I should point out that the part of the curtain directly in front of the area of the door that swings open had long since been scrunched/pulled back.  Only the part of the curtain that hung over the hinged side of the door was still covering anything – so to get tied up in that curtain you’d have had to open the door, ignore the wide open space directly in front of you and scoot to the side where the curtain was blocking part of the entrance (bad description, but the best I can do).  We silently watched the curtain and shoes do their dance for what seemed like 2 minutes, but it was probably just 20 seconds or so. 

Eventually the fabric-y obstacle to entry was shoved aside and the man attached to the black shoes said, “I’m here to do your epidural.”  Stunned, my husband and I just sat there for a moment.  I said, “I think we’re done here.”  The guy looked down at the bed, saw the baby lying there, looked back up at us and said “Oh, I’ll…uh…go get someone.”  My husband then realized that this guy thought the baby had been born while we’d just been hangin’ around in there by ourselves, so he said to the anesthesiologist “They know. They were in here.”  The doctor responded with something along the lines of, “Uh, okay” and left the room.  As soon as I saw the door close completely I looked at my husband and said “I.am.so.glad.that.man.did.not.stick.a.needle.in.my.back.” 

I held the baby for a little while, but don’t think I really touched him directly very much at that point.  My husband and I were so tired that we were both about nodding off, so we called the nurse to get the baby (don't like that wording -'get the baby' sounds so coarse, but can't think of any other way to put it), and then tucked in for some sleep.

* I put the u/s from 15w6d in so you could see the extent of the omphalocele, as there is no way I would have posted the graphic pics we took.  If anyone out there stumbles over this because she is researching omphalocele or cystic hygroma, I have 23 other u/s images.  Also - and I know I am the only person in the universe that can say this (or maybe I'm the only nut that sees it) - for a long time I thought the omphalocele in this image resembled a cervix (albeit from a funky angle), but today it occured to me that it actually looks like a big dinger - you know - a boy part.  I don't dare put the 'p' word in here because I really don't want anyone finding this site using that search term.

Comments

[Erin]

As rough and touching your story is, I let a little giggle out at your description of the anestheologist.

[Julia]

I'll be another of those carrying anger toward all of the staff. I don't care if they didn't intend to be hurtful. You deserved the utmost respect. And the staff should have some sort of signal worked out to indicate extra care is needed.

I was a bit curious about the delivery of your placenta. I know that part caught me off guard.

[Beckik]

I would be upset at the staff too. I don't think they handled it as well as they should have. I've been reading since Julia linked to you from her site. I'm very truly sorry for your loss. No words can describe and I'm sitting here stunned but thank you for sharing your story however hard that must be.