A mish-mash of info.
Finally, within just the last two days, the plugged duct seems to have resolved. Thanks for all the suggestions. One CLC suggested Lecithin, so I went out and bought it, but I never opened it because after I got home I read that lecithin can increase symptoms of depression - not a good combo with PPD. Will be getting my $10 back.
Last Saturday was Adam's birthday, and it was ok. Just like last year, I was more wound up a day or two beforehand than on the actual day. Unlike last year, because we have Colin, I am so keenly aware of what we missed out on with Adam. But then every time I think that, I remember that we never would have had anything with Adam, he was never coming home with us. I hear the words of the docs that examined him after he was born: '"the defects were insurmountable."
I sat down with the Adam box and went through all of it. Re-read every card we received, looked through the scrapbook of his pictures, glanced over the autopsy and pathology reports. I looked at his outfit and little hat, touched his blankets and held the flannel folder on my chest for a little while before bed. I wept a bit, but not crying, just quiet weeping - mostly, I think, because I was so touched by the outpouring of love from friends, acquaintances and strangers.
^^^ well,crap - there was more I wanted to say in this only free time I have since - ummm forever, but my husband , wonderful man that he is, just awakened Colin accidentally, so I must go.
