Sorting The Baby Stuff

Favorite Sounds and Mother's Day

I have two new favorite sounds.  They make me smile.  They warm my heart.  The first is when Colin goes 'pah' with his lips.  Its kind of like the beginning of the word 'putter'.  He's basically smacking his lips, but very softly and gently.  He does it sometimes when he sees us eating something.  The second is the sound of him crunching something like a Cheerio in his front teeth.  You know how they'll push something through those little teeth like they are feeding a buzzsaw?  I am caught by surprise at just how glad that sound makes me.  I can't explain it, and don't need to.  It's just a little free joy, mine for the taking.

Colin was finally baptized on Mother's Day.  Getting to that point was a bit of an ordeal, with several stops and starts along the way (so much so that one of the godparents called a few days before and asked if it was still on.)  I have issues with the idea that a child needs to be baptized to be a part of the church, or accepted into heaven or whatever.  Adam wasn't formally baptized* and that does not make him any less heaven-bound than Colin, ya know?  So we met with one of the priests to discuss all this and she said her husband had very similar feelings about having their kids baptized.  So they just looked at it as a 'welcoming' into the community and celebration that this little one is with us.  I could swallow that, and those to whom him being baptized was truly important (my mom and my husband's mom) were satisfied as well.  Another thing that priest helped me see is that our parish is not the church for me.  Its a sad realization since I've been going there since 2nd grade, been very involved at times, and my Dad actually works for the church.  In this way I am relieved that we are moving, so I won't have to hurt anyone's feelings by finding a new parish here in town (My Dad gets it though.  He sees the parish's flaws and works very hard to correct them.)     

We had 35 friends and family members attend the baptism and then went to a fondue restaurant for a celebration afterward.  With the exception of my brother, a few college friends and one former co-worker everyone I care the most about was gathered.  We gave a little speech thanking everyone for coming and mentioned that one definition of community is a group that divides your sorrows and doubles your joys.  That definition certainly holds true for the poeple in the room that day, but it also holds true for you.  You internets did more to relieve the burden of grief than anyone in that room did.  Not that they didn't try - they did what they could, but the wisdom, advice and support I got from you all made the difference.  So, thanks again.

*  I did it myself.  I just said "I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and mark you as Christ's own forever" as I made the sign of the cross over him.  I didn't do it because I needed it, but because I knew that one day it could be important to me and I only had this one shot at it.  Hedging bets and whatnot, I suppose. 

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One more thing - I started this post last Wednesday.  Today is Monday, and I've just now gotten back to it.  I don't mean to be abandoning this blog, but Colin just keeps me so busy.  The kid climbed over the baby gate on Tuesday.  I can barely take my eyes off of him.  Oh, and I also had mastitis this week.  Not pleasant, but could have been much worse. 

New Star

There is a new little star in heaven.  His name is Carter M.  He was born two months early and lived a day, but his tiny lungs just weren't ready.  Please send some healing vibes to his family.

Part-Time Single Mom

So, my husband accepted the job in Bowling Green, Kentucky, and he started last week.  That means he's in another state Monday thru Friday.  We made it through week one, and it wasn't as bad as I anticipated.  First of all, I was not shy about telling people what I needed, and they came through.  I needed a shower, so I called a neighbor and handed Colin off for a few minutes.  I needed to be out of my house (and out of my pajamas) so I called someone else to go for a walk.  Also, I just focused on the day/week at hand, not the next month or two.

Another thing that seems better is the Postpartum Depression.  I'm still taking the meds, but I feel like I could start to wean down if I wanted to.  I won't be doing that, however, given the upheavals of moving away from family and friends that are getting ready to come my way.  Also, we are moving with a one year-old.  That just does not sound appealing.  I want Colin to be with me here, and I want him to be with me when we're settled into the new place, but in between...well I'm thinking its gonna be a little rough.  We have found a house that we'd like to buy, but have not yet made an offer.  It's pretty far out of town - far enough that there is no cable available, so we'll have to do TV and internet through satellite.

I did see online that there appears to be a pretty good La Leche group in Bowling Green and even though we only nurse at naptime or bedtime, I guess we still qualify.  At least I know how to hook up with a few other women with babies in the area.

So, there is no posting during the week because I'm always on Colin-duty (which is better than colon-duty, or even colon-doo-dee).  When the kid naps I nap too, or I do the chores I can't get done with him hanging off my legs.  And when he goes to bed...well, I have to admit that he is still sleeping with us.  That will change - hopefully before he goes to college.

Oh - and so far my husband is really liking his new job a whole lot.  Very excited and energized.  And when he got home on Friday I don't think he set Colin down for an hour.  He missed that kid a bunch, and it was lovely to watch.